3 replies to this topic

[ChloesCritters]

For the people who weren't on HH at that time, oreo was my female syrian hamster.

 

I don't know where to start...Oreo lived a pretty short life for a hamster and i have no idea why she passed away. I thought she was asleep and recorded a youtube short of her, i feel so guitly about doing so.

 

A lot of people say that in a few months you will stop grieving but i am still grieving. I tried coping with it at the start by spending some time with my friends, doing fun stuff and spending time with pancake but it doesn't work. I I still cry every time someone mentions oreo or i see a photo/video of her. She lived most of her life in a bare minimum bin cage which she was clearly stressed out in. I tried my best to give her more enrichment but she was still unhappy. Yet, she was still amazing and loved human interaction. (all me and my sisters hams were/are all sociable)

 

In a few days it will be pancakes birthday and i can't help but think "why couldn't oreo experience this". It really hurts me that she couldn't eat her birthday cake and open birthday presents....

 

Does anyone have experience with this and can give me advice? I really don't know what to do, i cry all the time because of this..

Edited by ChloesCritters, 09 July 2022 - 06:47 PM.

[Kikya]

Everyone deals with loss differently but I would say that you might be feeling something else besides just sadness. Maybe some guilt or some other emotion that is mixed in with sadness. Try to figure out if that is the case. When you feel that sadness, instead of just crying try to think about why you are upset? Is it because you think you could have done something differently or you were scared by how you found her? Only you know for sure. Try to listen to the feelings. I will sometimes think a statement and if that statement makes me feel worse or start to cry then you are getting closer to the root issue.

Maybe talk to someone you trust about your feelings and they can help you figure out what's going on behind the sadness. I've dealt with a lot of loss and grief in my life and usually when it lingers, it's because I felt like something was my fault or because I wished I had done something differently. Not saying that is the case here but as an example.

Sometimes thinking about it helps me realize I am way too hard on myself, I can't control every outcome even with animals or people that are in my care. I'm not God and when it's that person's time, it's their time, and nothing I do will change that. My being there probably helped that person or animal not feel alone or I gave them a good life while they were with me.

If you ever want to talk because maybe your family doesn't understand attachment to tiny rodents, feel free to PM me.

HUGS

[HammysRCmfrtAnimls]

First off, you have every right to still grieve. I had a very similar experience with my hamster when I was not knowledgeable or secure with money to give her everything she needs. 2 years later it still hurts.

What I constantly told myself is that I did everything I could, and it was her time. You can't look at every little thing you did as a reason she died. Its not true. Accept she's safe and happy. There could have been cancer you didn't know about and it was just her time to depart.
In the end, these hammies steal our hearts and break them with their short lives. You are not alone with how you feel. A whole community stands beside you with some sort of experience like this.

PM me if you need anything ❤

[Bluemoonwater]

There never is a expired date to grieving. Everyone goes through it different, there isn't a wrong or right way to it. We are all different. Your ham impacted your life and oreos death helps you grow as a person and it just shows you loved oreo. It's been a few years since my cat passed and I still think about her from time to time and cry. What helped me grieve was watch other people on youtube going through what I was. The best advice I got was to make sure the grieving doesn't 100% take from living life, have a set time or day to grieve. It helped bc all I would do was sit in my room, cry and never came out. Just keep living life, just don't let it become unhealthy, talk to someone but most importantly make sure you think about all the good memories! Don't blame yourself for the past, whatever happened its unchangeable, it's part of learning (: I'm sure oreo is looking down in ham heaven munching on a sunflower seed :3