13 replies to this topic

[Funrin]

I think this is probably a bit controversial seeing how this platform is a hamster forum, but I am just curious if there is anyone who actually ever wondered if a hamster is really the right pet for them.

My reason for asking is as follows:
Most hamsters do not care for attention, or enjoy attention from their owners. Sometimes they are such ghosties that owners do not even see or interact with them at all. I understand that some people say that they are happy being able to watch their hamsters do their things, but what if you never see your hamster at all for days on end, and when you see them (usually because you accidentally wake them when spot cleaning and stuff like that), you somehow feel like they are afraid of you or are happier with you not being there? I'm not sure if it's the same for anyone else but I do feel a stinging sense of rejection (silly I know).
Even for pets like fish who never interacts with their owners, at least people are able to view them in aquariums, but for hamsters they are just out of sight.

I'm just curious, especially people who are okay with just knowing that they are providing their hamsters with a good life even if they never see their hamsters. Even though they are pets and not toys and have their own personalities, are they not for companionship as well ? Are most people completely okay with their hamsters not wanting to interact with them or is it just as an act of respect for their ham friends? Or is there more to that that I haven't considered?

I suppose this is partially for me to gauge whether a hamster is truly the right pet for me as well haha ;; I want to hear others opinions on this matter and sort out my own thoughts. I respect my hamster's boundaries for alone time because I love my own alone time as well, but I do miss my hamster alot, and I get a little sad when he doesn't want anything to do with me or come out on his own accord at all when I am around.

I apologise in advance if I sound whiny, non-understandng or disrespectful ! Thank you > <

Edited by Funrin, 24 March 2022 - 05:09 PM.

[ghostface]

I think it really just depends on the person and the hamster as well. I personally like to interact with my pets at least occasionally, even if it's just to hand feed them some food or handle them a bit, but not being able to is not a dealbreaker. I ended up getting lucky with pets that were fairly tolerant of attention, but with hamsters that obviously isn't a guarantee. I kind of assume (sorry if I'm off the mark on this) a lot of people that are very into hamster keeping and have several shy or nervous hamsters are more interested in giving good care, decorating/buildings cages, etc. than handling them. And hamsters, unlike rats, dogs, etc, don't usually feel severe repercussions for not having constant interaction. So for these kinds of people, hamsters are probably an excellent choice for them.

 

But to get back to your problem, it's okay to be disappointed by your hamster being very introverted (if you can call it that lol) and it really is up to you if you feel like you're not getting out what you're putting in. It just depends on personal preference, and it's better to choose a pet that fits your needs that you can take care of to the best of your ability than trying to force it if it isn't working out. In some ways, it is a "gamble" (not the best term) when getting a hamster, you can't be sure what their temperament will be like. In general, think hamsters are a good pet for someone that is willing to/somewhat interested in handling their pet but is also flexible in that they are okay with having minimal to no interaction.

 

Hope this was somewhat helpful, sorry it was a bit all over the place. It's a very complex question and imo, is very personal in terms of personality/preferences in both hamster and owner. ( - - )b Hopefully someone who has more experience with reclusive hamsters can give some thoughts on their experience.

[HedgehogsX2]

I currently have 4 dwarves. One of the 4 really doesn't care for me. Whenever he's out of his hidey hole and I approach his cage, he'd immediately dash back to his hide, not even giving me a chance.

My other three is alot more touchy and needy. They constantly wanna be picked up and run around. One of them even prefers running over my body and using me as an obstacle course.

Honestly, when I wanted to adopt a hamster, I was actually looking for a pet I wouldn't have to bond with or pet or touch or socialize. After my hedgehog passed, I really don't want to get 'close' to another animal again. I don't want to love them as much as I loved my hedgehog.

I wanted a hamster just so that I could feed it, give it water, get it toys, bedding, treats, warmth, safety.. I didn't want to have a companion, just an animal I could look after and have depending on me.

Honestly, it's completely understandable for you to doubt. You just have to look within yourself and ask whether you're truly happy just giving your hamster the best life possible, or do you really want an animal you can touch and see and bond with.

There's no shame in admitting to either.

[Funrin]

I think it really just depends on the person and the hamster as well. I personally like to interact with my pets at least occasionally, even if it's just to hand feed them some food or handle them a bit, but not being able to is not a dealbreaker. I ended up getting lucky with pets that were fairly tolerant of attention, but with hamsters that obviously isn't a guarantee. I kind of assume (sorry if I'm off the mark on this) a lot of people that are very into hamster keeping and have several shy or nervous hamsters are more interested in giving good care, decorating/buildings cages, etc. than handling them. And hamsters, unlike rats, dogs, etc, don't usually feel severe repercussions for not having constant interaction. So for these kinds of people, hamsters are probably an excellent choice for them.

 

But to get back to your problem, it's okay to be disappointed by your hamster being very introverted (if you can call it that lol) and it really is up to you if you feel like you're not getting out what you're putting in. It just depends on personal preference, and it's better to choose a pet that fits your needs that you can take care of to the best of your ability than trying to force it if it isn't working out. In some ways, it is a "gamble" (not the best term) when getting a hamster, you can't be sure what their temperament will be like. In general, think hamsters are a good pet for someone that is willing to/somewhat interested in handling their pet but is also flexible in that they are okay with having minimal to no interaction.

 

Hope this was somewhat helpful, sorry it was a bit all over the place. It's a very complex question and imo, is very personal in terms of personality/preferences in both hamster and owner. ( - - )b Hopefully someone who has more experience with reclusive hamsters can give some thoughts on their experience.

Yea I do want to at least interact with them a bit as well, and hamsters really are a hit or miss. You could be right about that, though I suppose I can't say that is the case for everyone. As much as I enjoy watching them and decorating their environment etc, I also like to be able to interact with them, and have it mutual haha ;;

Thank you so much for your insights ! It does reassure and helped me a bit. Cause' so far the people I've talked to on this platform seem to be very okay and understanding of their hamsters being very ghost, and while I also have to be responsible and mature about that, I can't help but feel a bit guilty for thinking about my own wants over my hamster's, even if I don't force anything upon them.

[Funrin]

I currently have 4 dwarves. One of the 4 really doesn't care for me. Whenever he's out of his hidey hole and I approach his cage, he'd immediately dash back to his hide, not even giving me a chance.

My other three is alot more touchy and needy. They constantly wanna be picked up and run around. One of them even prefers running over my body and using me as an obstacle course.

Honestly, when I wanted to adopt a hamster, I was actually looking for a pet I wouldn't have to bond with or pet or touch or socialize. After my hedgehog passed, I really don't want to get 'close' to another animal again. I don't want to love them as much as I loved my hedgehog.

I wanted a hamster just so that I could feed it, give it water, get it toys, bedding, treats, warmth, safety.. I didn't want to have a companion, just an animal I could look after and have depending on me.

Honestly, it's completely understandable for you to doubt. You just have to look within yourself and ask whether you're truly happy just giving your hamster the best life possible, or do you really want an animal you can touch and see and bond with.

There's no shame in admitting to either.

 

Ahh.. I'm sorry about your hedgehog D^: Your current hamsters sound really cute as well though, very curious, save that one more timid one, but it could just be its personality :'^)

 

Hmm, I guess it's different for everyone .. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me !

Haha I'm greedy like that, I want to give them a good happy life while still be able to touch and see and bond with them. ;; At the same time I also really understand their want to be left alone, so I guess I really need to think about it myself.. 
Thank you nonetheless ! :^D

[Sparrow]

The way I see hamsters (especially after owning and fostering all kinds of other rodents) is that you get all the responsibilities and financial drain of owning a pet with little to no benefit of actually having one. Unless you're one of the lucky few who actually has a hamster that is awake during the early evenings, you're hardly ever going to have a chance to interact with your hamster properly. They do not seek you out the same other pets or rodents do. They couldn't care less of you're alive so long as all of their needs are met. You're giving up a massive chunk of space to provide adequate amount of space and enrichment and let's be real here, how many of us have been frustrated with hamsters not interacting with the items within their cage? I know I certainly have!

After many many years of hamster keeping, I came to the conclusion that hamsters are definitely not a pet for me. This belief was cemented after owning mice and even having a male mouse that used to travel with me to work for my night shifts as a companion. They knew their names, they would use all of the items within their space, they knew tricks, they groomed me and slept and cuddled with me... I felt genuinely bonded and loved by ALL of my mice (even one that was half wild!).

I have rats now for the first time and honestly, i feel the same way about them as I did about my mice. My three girls love and care for me and they look forward to their two-three hours of playtime and cuddle time with me every evening.

I would have never experienced that level of love and care from hamsters. Not even hamsters that I hand raised were loving to the level that other rodents are despite being ridiculously tame.

Some people are completely content with a one way relationship but I'm not one of those people. I loved all of my hamsters, i really did, but I honestly could never see myself owning a pet again that does not want to be a pet...

[randomhamsterpersonn]

I think this is probably a bit controversial seeing how this platform is a hamster forum, but I am just curious if there is anyone who actually ever wondered if a hamster is really the right pet for them.

My reason for asking is as follows:
Most hamsters do not care for attention, or enjoy attention from their owners. Sometimes they are such ghosties that owners do not even see or interact with them at all. I understand that some people say that they are happy being able to watch their hamsters do their things, but what if you never see your hamster at all for days on end, and when you see them (usually because you accidentally wake them when spot cleaning and stuff like that), you somehow feel like they are afraid of you or are happier with you not being there? I'm not sure if it's the same for anyone else but I do feel a stinging sense of rejection (silly I know).
Even for pets like fish who never interacts with their owners, at least people are able to view them in aquariums, but for hamsters they are just out of sight.

I'm just curious, especially people who are okay with just knowing that they are providing their hamsters with a good life even if they never see their hamsters. Even though they are pets and not toys and have their own personalities, are they not for companionship as well ? Are most people completely okay with their hamsters not wanting to interact with them or is it just as an act of respect for their ham friends? Or is there more to that that I haven't considered?

I suppose this is partially for me to gauge whether a hamster is truly the right pet for me as well haha ;; I want to hear others opinions on this matter and sort out my own thoughts. I respect my hamster's boundaries for alone time because I love my own alone time as well, but I do miss my hamster alot, and I get a little sad when he doesn't want anything to do with me or come out on his own accord at all when I am around.

I apologise in advance if I sound whiny, non-understandng or disrespectful ! Thank you > <

 

This is so relatable, and I completely understand how you're feeling! I had planned and worked and saved up for months for my first hamster and was so excited when I finally got her!! However, after a while she decided she wanted to be a ghost hamster. She is pretty terrified of me and doesn't even like to take treats from my hand (no bad past as far as I'm aware, she was a baby when I adopted her from someone who had a litter on kijiji).

I really struggled with this because I missed seeing her and ghost hamsters aren't widely spoken and taught about on platforms such as Youtube etc. But the truth is, when you adopt a hamster, you have to be ready for the possibility that they might be a ghost hamster. And it's hard, because you're caring for them and feeding them and everything yet without seeing them.

 

What personally helped me was that I ended up rescuing a second hamster (different enclosures of course), this time he was an older guy whose personality traits were already known (not throwing shade to ghost hamsters, but I really wanted to adopt a hamster that I could be more social with.) Now I have two hammies, and I love both of them differently! Phoebe (my ghost hammy), from a distance, and Cotton (my social dude) with lots of pets. 

 

Thank you for making a post about this, because I think more hamster owners and people considering adopting hamsters should really be aware of the fact that hamsters aren't always going to be social. Of course, that doesn't mean you can't love them! <3

[HedgehogsX2]

The way I see hamsters (especially after owning and fostering all kinds of other rodents) is that you get all the responsibilities and financial drain of owning a pet with little to no benefit of actually having one. Unless you're one of the lucky few who actually has a hamster that is awake during the early evenings, you're hardly ever going to have a chance to interact with your hamster properly. They do not seek you out the same other pets or rodents do. They couldn't care less of you're alive so long as all of their needs are met. You're giving up a massive chunk of space to provide adequate amount of space and enrichment and let's be real here, how many of us have been frustrated with hamsters not interacting with the items within their cage? I know I certainly have!

After many many years of hamster keeping, I came to the conclusion that hamsters are definitely not a pet for me. This belief was cemented after owning mice and even having a male mouse that used to travel with me to work for my night shifts as a companion. They knew their names, they would use all of the items within their space, they knew tricks, they groomed me and slept and cuddled with me... I felt genuinely bonded and loved by ALL of my mice (even one that was half wild!).

I have rats now for the first time and honestly, i feel the same way about them as I did about my mice. My three girls love and care for me and they look forward to their two-three hours of playtime and cuddle time with me every evening.

I would have never experienced that level of love and care from hamsters. Not even hamsters that I hand raised were loving to the level that other rodents are despite being ridiculously tame.

Some people are completely content with a one way relationship but I'm not one of those people. I loved all of my hamsters, i really did, but I honestly could never see myself owning a pet again that does not want to be a pet...

Honestly, that's exactly why I wanted to get a hamster in the first place.
My bond with my hedgehog was equal to the bond you had with your mice and rats. He was my everything and he slept with me in the bed, would walk all over me, and go into my shirt when he was cold. He'd only ever trust me and huff and puff at everyone else. He was such a special hog.

After he passed, I wanted an animal to take care of, but not bond with. Unfortunately, it seems like my current hamsters are quite active and awake. I believe this will change once they have a bigger cage and more enrichment, maybe then they won't need my attention as much anymore. I'm starting to love these little guys. Even my current ghost one. Hah he screamed at me yesterday.

They definitely have personalities and it's really fascinating to get to know them all. But i do admit, everytime I take one of the hamsters out to exercise, I keep getting reminded that this animal really doesn't care about my existence lol. Igor (my hedgehog) would always stay close to me, or run to me when he felt threatened or uncomfortable. These hamsters don't care at all. And I'm OK with that for now. For now I don't want to go through another heartache of bonding and losing a child. I just want to look after an animal, feed it, supply it with enrichment, and give it a good life. It's more of a selfish thing, I'm doing it for my feelings. I want the closure.

[Funrin]

This is so relatable, and I completely understand how you're feeling! I had planned and worked and saved up for months for my first hamster and was so excited when I finally got her!! However, after a while she decided she wanted to be a ghost hamster. She is pretty terrified of me and doesn't even like to take treats from my hand (no bad past as far as I'm aware, she was a baby when I adopted her from someone who had a litter on kijiji).

I really struggled with this because I missed seeing her and ghost hamsters aren't widely spoken and taught about on platforms such as Youtube etc. But the truth is, when you adopt a hamster, you have to be ready for the possibility that they might be a ghost hamster. And it's hard, because you're caring for them and feeding them and everything yet without seeing them.

 

What personally helped me was that I ended up rescuing a second hamster (different enclosures of course), this time he was an older guy whose personality traits were already known (not throwing shade to ghost hamsters, but I really wanted to adopt a hamster that I could be more social with.) Now I have two hammies, and I love both of them differently! Phoebe (my ghost hammy), from a distance, and Cotton (my social dude) with lots of pets. 

 

Thank you for making a post about this, because I think more hamster owners and people considering adopting hamsters should really be aware of the fact that hamsters aren't always going to be social. Of course, that doesn't mean you can't love them! <3

 

Ahh I'm glad I'm not the only one .. ; _ ;
Tbh I was feeling kinda bad haha, like am I selfish or impatient ? Or something ;;

Yea I don't want to sound terrible but it really feels .. un-nice when your love isn't reciprocated, granted we are probably scary giants with a funny smell to them, and it's mostly just their instincts acting. If anything, I wonder if hamsters even love each other at all, which doesn't seem so. Maybe they're just wired to not be emotional haha.

 

I did consider probably getting a second hamster as well, but I have issues with space, and also .. what if I accidentally adopted another ghost hamster? A description by the foster could be one thing, but whether the hamster really is that personality will kind of only show through when you see them physically ? I'm not sure either ;; And another hamster means another set of accessories which also means more money ;;

And also, I'm not sure if it's unfair to my current hamster .. like being "thrown aside" (i still love him alot though, I don't mean thrown literally!) just because he's not being cuddly, and kinda having two different hams as an experiment of sorts to see different personalities.. (not saying that you're doing that !  But I feel like this is a semi-mindset of mine.) maybe I'm thinking way too hard about this haha ;;

 

Thank you for sharing your story as well !   I'm really glad I'm not the only one who thought about it that way . <3

[randomhamsterpersonn]

Ahh I'm glad I'm not the only one .. ; _ ;
Tbh I was feeling kinda bad haha, like am I selfish or impatient ? Or something ;;

Yea I don't want to sound terrible but it really feels .. un-nice when your love isn't reciprocated, granted we are probably scary giants with a funny smell to them, and it's mostly just their instincts acting. If anything, I wonder if hamsters even love each other at all, which doesn't seem so. Maybe they're just wired to not be emotional haha.

 

I did consider probably getting a second hamster as well, but I have issues with space, and also .. what if I accidentally adopted another ghost hamster? A description by the foster could be one thing, but whether the hamster really is that personality will kind of only show through when you see them physically ? I'm not sure either ;; And another hamster means another set of accessories which also means more money ;;

And also, I'm not sure if it's unfair to my current hamster .. like being "thrown aside" (i still love him alot though, I don't mean thrown literally!) just because he's not being cuddly, and kinda having two different hams as an experiment of sorts to see different personalities.. (not saying that you're doing that !  But I feel like this is a semi-mindset of mine.) maybe I'm thinking way too hard about this haha ;;

 

Thank you for sharing your story as well !   I'm really glad I'm not the only one who thought about it that way . <3

 

These concerns are completely valid! About your current hamster being "thrown aside", I really don't think of it that way. I still love and care for Phoebe, although she doesn't get as much physical attention but this is what she wants. 

 

Also, like you mentioned, there is never going to be 100 percent that you will end up with a super social and cuddly hamster, but I really think that adopting one that was already a year old and his personality was known helped because I got to hear about what he was like before officially bringing him home.

 

Yes, getting a second hamster is more money, and if you don't know if you have that money, then maybe wait to adopt another one. However, there are efficient ways to cut costs, such as perhaps making a diy cage (both of mine are diys), purchasing second hand objects that can be sanatized, and making diy hides and tunnels! Space is another factor to take into consideration. Both of my hamster's cages take up almost 2000 sq inches in my room, plus the temporary bin cage that my new hamster is in while I finish this second cage, but hey, the small price I have to pay for my little hammies.

Edited by randomhamsterpersonn, 26 March 2022 - 02:46 AM.

[Taxonomist]

I ultimately ended up deciding that hamsters were not for me.

 

I had no problems with them not wanting to be handled.  Most of my hamsters were reasonably sociable, but I had no issues with the ones that weren't.

 

The issue for me was simply housing.  There is just no way for me to get a cage that I'd feel truly good about keeping a hamster in.  Nor do I really have room for one.  It's just not in me to DIY a huge cage.

 

It's why I switched to rats.  Not only could I get an excellent cage by just...going to the store and buying one...but the cage takes up less floor space, because it's tall and rats need a lot of vertical space.  Not to mention that rats are significantly  more human-oriented than even my friendliest hamsters were.

[Kikya]

I personally love having hamsters, they are fascinating, interesting, adorable. I love learning their personalities and even Appa who pretty much hates me (lol) is excited to get his seeds every day.

 

I find that hamsters are the right blend of interaction and can be left alone. If I need to, I can just put some seeds down and change the water if I have a busy day. Or I can have them out and about running around with me. I could leave them a day or two and not feel stressed.

 

I do think that people OBSESS over never seeing a single stress behavior from their hamster. I just don't think that's realistic. Sometimes they are going to be bored and wanna get out. So I let them out. Sometimes I can't and that's ok too. Is your dog 100% stimulated all the time? Probably not. Neither will your hamster be.

 

I do think having multiple hamsters helps with the times when you get a hamster that isn't as social. If I only had Appa, I would probably be a little disappointed but he's still very cute to watch.

[Funrin]

I ultimately ended up deciding that hamsters were not for me.

I had no problems with them not wanting to be handled. Most of my hamsters were reasonably sociable, but I had no issues with the ones that weren't.

The issue for me was simply housing. There is just no way for me to get a cage that I'd feel truly good about keeping a hamster in. Nor do I really have room for one. It's just not in me to DIY a huge cage.

It's why I switched to rats. Not only could I get an excellent cage by just...going to the store and buying one...but the cage takes up less floor space, because it's tall and rats need a lot of vertical space. Not to mention that rats are significantly more human-oriented than even my friendliest hamsters were.

I see I see, thanks for sharing with me ..! Yea currently I do want to consider adopting another hamster but I don't think there's space in my room for me to do that either.

Rats are illegal to keep in my country because they thrive a little too well here and could very well become pests if irresponsible owners release them or if they escape. But I've heard that they are very human-oriented and smart and also very cuddly.

[Funrin]

I personally love having hamsters, they are fascinating, interesting, adorable. I love learning their personalities and even Appa who pretty much hates me (lol) is excited to get his seeds every day.

I find that hamsters are the right blend of interaction and can be left alone. If I need to, I can just put some seeds down and change the water if I have a busy day. Or I can have them out and about running around with me. I could leave them a day or two and not feel stressed.

I do think that people OBSESS over never seeing a single stress behavior from their hamster. I just don't think that's realistic. Sometimes they are going to be bored and wanna get out. So I let them out. Sometimes I can't and that's ok too. Is your dog 100% stimulated all the time? Probably not. Neither will your hamster be.

I do think having multiple hamsters helps with the times when you get a hamster that isn't as social. If I only had Appa, I would probably be a little disappointed but he's still very cute to watch.

I love them too, I think they are interesting to watch and are hella' adorable.
.. If they'd even come out and let me see them. :'^)

I do get what you mean though. Sometimes I also wonder if I care too much about whether my hamster wants to come out and play, especially on days when I am busy and can't afford to play with him, then I suddenly feel a bit glad my ham isn't too needy haha.

And hmm I also get what you mean by being obsessed with a single stress behaviour from the hamster, cause when I first started out I was the same. Wasn't too sure if I was doing the right things etc. What you say makes alot of sense and I feel so much better reading it. Of course a balance is needed and not just being over neglectful or overworrying.

Sighs I really want to get another hamster as well, I get a bit sad when I know that my current ham is waiting for me to go to bed and turn off the lights to emerge, or refuses to crawl on my hand or turns away at my scent. He doesn't panic or show fear and just doing his own things, but I do get disappointed haha.
He is still super cute to me and I love him very much, but I have someone tell me that I am betraying my current ham if I get another one, and I should just focus on taking very good care of my current one. I do feel the guilt over that statement and for thinking that way haha ;; And it is true that there isn't much space in my room for another, and who am I to say that the other hamster won't be the same as my current one anyway. :'^)

Edited by Funrin, 29 March 2022 - 08:30 AM.